Mario and Boswer: MKPD
by GangstaBro
Summary: In the peaceful Mushroom Kingdom is a under world of crime and loads of evil gangbangers ready to hurt all the fluffy animal and not-alive people in the city. But stopping them is two detectives in the Mushroom Kingdom Police Department. Ones a shroom chewing,shell popping plumber and the other is a fire breathing mofo turtle dragon. And togather they are gonna kick ass and shit!
1. Chapter 1

Mario and Bowser: MKPD

Chapter One

AN: Sup fools. welcome to my new series which has the greatest video game dudes EVAH! I thought this up and thought this was fuckin awesome so I wrote it. like with my other stuff you should review this when your done readin, but thats just prosedur you know. besides I knows Im an fuckin master at written so you dont need to keep tellin me that.

AN: still gonna keep written about Dildo so chilax about that. hes just too fuckin awesome to stop written about.

The Mushroom KIngdom. it looks all happy and stuff but thats a pile of shit. this place has all the problems any other big city has eccept that all its gangbangers look like fluffy animals and not-alive things.

ahuge gangbangin under world lives under the super nice day world of the Mushroom Kingdom, and every day it reachs out to sqeeze the lif out of harm less law goers. but they have a enemy.

THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM POLICE DEPARTMENT BITCHES111

the MKPD makes sure that these scum hide under thier beds and cry like fuckin babys instead of hurtin good fluffy animals and not-alive things in the city. and right now thats ecactly what thier doin.

...

The yellow turtle watched in the shadows as a big fat mushsrom guy walked over the street. he couldnt tell if this retard was gonna be his next customer (SPOILER HES A DRUG DEALER). turns out it was.

the fattard shroom guy stood near by and waited.

"He-hello?" he said quitely.

"What you want bitch." Said the turtle guy.

"Area you a Blingshell?" Said the fat mushroom.

blingshell fixed his shades cuz they were goin down is nose. then he smiled.

May be." He said secrety. "why do you want me pal?"

"Asome one tolda me that you coulda help me... geta a life?" Said the mushroom in a nervous way.

Blingshell nodded all doochilly.

"I can help you get a life. just step in my office." he said waving at the alley.

"but thatsa alley." said themushroom all confused."

"Best kind of office pal. Best kind."

so the fattard got in to the alley while blingshell looked outside to see if any cops were watchin outside. then he walked over to the mushroom and pulled a green life mushroom out of a pocket.

"is this what your lookin for son?" He said sneakly.

"Thatsa it!" cried the mushroom out loud. he tried to grab it but the turtle stepped back.

"Whoe, whoe boy! cant let you have this fo free. this is premo stuff this shit. cant let you hold this wif out payin, might steal it. you under stand.

"Howa much?" said the mushroom desperitly.

"Ten coins. a mutha fuckin bargain right?" said Blingshell. but he was startin to get edgy. his gangbanger senses were tingleing and this mushroom was makin him nerous. but he didnt know why.

"deal!" said the mushroom and handed over the coins.

"Nother sadisfied customer." said blingshell happyly and gave it over.

but instead of leavin the mushroom just stood there. he was turnin the lifeshroom over and over then he licked his thumb and rubbed it. Blingshell watched scared as the green and white paint rubbed off a bit to show purple under it.

"do youa have amore of these?" said the mushroom suddenly all serousely. but when he looked up he saw blingshell running in to the ally. he chased after him but suddenly the turtle started to wall jump up and up and got to the roofs when the mushroom caught up. then he looked up and smiled cooly.

"Here we go." he said under his breath. then he took off his mushroom cap hat and then Mario started to wall jump to.

gettin to the roof tops mario saw the dealer runnin across roof tops and chased after him.

"Freezea dirtbag! He shouted after him.

Blingshell turned around amd saw how close he was gettin and pulled out his bullet gun. he fired it a lot and all the mini bullet bills went straight to mario. but mario jumped on the first one and so he flew over the rest with out missin a beat. but it gave the turtle enough time to take off he shell and kick it at him with high speed.

Mario ran back as the shell chased him but then he jumped and landed it. then he did a round house kick and sent the shell flying back to the dealer who jumped in to an other alley to escape. but when mario jumped down he found it was full of pipes. the turtle had escaped.

"Damn it!" shouted mario and punched the alley wall so hard that it cracked.

if only he had one of his items. like the brown leaf or his fire flower then he wouldve grabbed the dealer and get a lead on his case. but now... now he was on sqaure one again.

BACK AT THE STATION

mario walked to the desk when a voice called him from down the hall.

"Detective Mario! Chief needs you." said a cop.

"Shita." Muttered Mario under his breathe.

"How is the case detective." Said the chief later.

"Nota good. Blingshell managed to givea me the slip but i putted a wanted level out on him." Said Mario cooly.

"and mean while posonshrooms are still bein sold on the streets" Said Chief toadstool angerly.

"Yes." Said Mario serously. "but ita looks like they makea them look like other shrooms inastead."

chief toadstool gave him a sarcstic look.

"so now we have to round up all the shrooms now? Detective we dont have the animal pwer to do that."

"Buta now we know how thier gettin ina the city." said Mario stickin to his guns. "Justa give me amore time chief."

The chief stopped outside he office.

"I dont think you should stay on this case Mario. maybe its time to give it to an other detective." He said serously.

"Fuck that." Said Mario angerly. "I'ma the best detective ina the department. and i knowa the sewers system way bettera then any one else."

"But in you're condition." Said the chief.

Mario hit the wall.

"thatsa why I should be ona the case chief! I know shrooms." He said angerly.

"But not alone." Said the chief.

"What do youa mean?" said mario.

"I'm giving you a partner Mario. and thats final."

"I dont needa partner." Said mario.

"Tough shit. AND he just as interested in breakin this ring as you are." Said Toadstool. Then he opened the door in to his office.

"Meet your new partner Detectives." He said to both of them. Mario looked at the other guy and o mouthed in shock.

It was Bowser!

AN: and thats it for now bitches! Why is bowser a detective. whats the ring they are talkin about. whats Marios "condition". All that and more is comin in the next chapters.

REVIEW THIS CHATER OR GET SHELL POPPED!


	2. Chapter 2

chaper two

AN: Sup fools. bringin you an other fresh update for this show. Made a lot of WTFs in the last chap (THats short for chapter) and now I'm gonna show what I was talkin about.

Mario and Bowser stared at each other o mouthing in shock. but the chief didnt notice and walked overr to his desk.

Detective mario, this is detective bowser head of under cover crime team. Detective bowser, this is detective mario lead crime solver." said toadstool all matter factly.

Mario and bowser still o mouthed. Then Bowser roared and knocked over his chair.

"What the fuck chief! Are you fuckin kiddin me!" said Bowser angerly.

"Yeah!" said Mario to.

"Shut up you fuckin plumber." Shouted Bowser.

"Sucka my balls lizard breathe." Said Mario back.

"The both of you better shut the hell up or I'll put you both on suspendsion." Said Toadstool over both of then. "Now sit down! now."

they sat down. but far a way from each other since they realy hated each other.

"I dont care if you fucktards have a history. the posonshroom ring is killin lots of people and its to big for one detective. now we know that they are paintin them to look like other mushrooms. that explains why most of the dead people never had a drug history. but that all so means that a lot of other fluffy animals and not living objects are in bad danger."

"ANda you ecpect a bowser to help?" said mario under his breathe. but toadstool heard him.

"Detective Bowser is the best under cover detective in the department. and with his criminal back story he knows the under world better then any one." Said toadstool.

"Damn fuckin straight!" Said Bowser.

then he got up and put his claws on the chiefs desk.

"but I fuckin don't see why I need him for a partner chief. These posonshrooms are realy fuckin evil and now you want me to baby sit this goody two shoes? if you want results I need to do what I do. And plumbers aint in the fuckin picture!" He said in a mofo way.

"This plumber is Bowser." Said toadstool cooly. "Im not gonna have my ass stuffed with a load of lawsuits and baby daddy tests so you can do what you do. Mario is a first class detective who knows the law insides and out.

'BUT CHIEF1' they said togather.

"Shut up." He inturupted.

taking out his bagde he said. "By the power invested in me by this department, I now call you partners for better or fuckin worst. You may now go and stop crime so get the hell out of my office."

"Just so you know, if you start pullin me back Im leavin you in the fuckin dust." said Bowser angerly

"Same here you stupid turtle."

"I AM NOT A FUCKIN TURTLE PLUMBER!" Shouted Bowser.

"Realy? So whena was there a sale ata the shellmart then?" Said Mario all sarcastacly.

"Shut up."

when they got outside mario started walkin over to his kart but Bowser picked him up by his pants and walked in the other direction.

"Were takin my kart bitch." He said.

"Leta me down!" Shouted mario.

"Wah wah. does baby want his bottlle." Said Bowser grinnin.

Before Mario could kick the smug turtle dragon in the face, Bowser dropped him on the sidewalk and got in to his kart. Mario brushed himself off and got up to look at Bowsers huge ride. It was a muscle kart that was super metalic black and it's hood was made to look like bowser and epic spoilers on the back. It was fuckin sweet. but Mario didnt say any thing beacuse he didn't want Bowser to feel good about himself.

So instead he grunted and said. "I've gota a fifty onna me. Do youa think we can make ita down the street with thata much?"

Bowser pointed a claw at him.

"Respect the fuckin kart Plumber." He said serously.

Mario got in and they drove off.

"Time to lay down some ground rules Pumber." Said Bowser as he ran a red light. "one. You keep you're fuckin mouth shit. Two. the chief might have made us partners but I aint doin fuckin team work, so leave every thing to me. and Three. Keep this kart clean. This is my fuckin treasure and I aint happy that a greasy plumber is stinkin it up. Got that?"

Mario shook his head.

"Didnt geta thing." He said.

"What do you mean nothing! what part of my rules didnt' you understand?" Said Bowser angerly.

"All of it." Said mario cooly. "maybea I coulda hear you a better if you're head wasnt upa your hair y ass."

Bowser stopped the kart.

"Listen plumber. I don't like you." He growled.

"Anda I dont' like a you." Mario inturupted. "so letsa agree to get this shit a wrapped up soa I dont have to look at you're stupida face."

they sat there for a while as cars drove past them. then bowser started movin again.

"I can agree to that. any ideas where we should start Plumber?" said bowser.

"theresa a turtle by the namea of blingshell whoa gave me the slip. Hea may know more thena he said." said mario.

blingshell huh?" Said bowser thoughtfuly. the he grinned evily.

"Peice of fuckin cake."

AN: Looks like blingshell is about to have a nightmare come true boyz. maybe Mario and Bowser will break the ring in record time. IF THEY DONT KILL EACH OTHER FIRST LOL1

REVIEW THIS CHAPTER OR I'LL SHELL POP YOU!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

AN: sup fools. time to check in with our two cops who are tryin to find a turtle by the name of blingshell. seems like that fucker might know whos behind the posionshroom ring thats been killin people, SO WHY ARE WE WAITIN1

Bowser pulled over his sweet kart in a seedy lookin alley parkin lot and stopped.

"here we are." he said getting out.

"wheresa here?" Said Mario followin him.

Bowser loled out loud.

"Figured a dip shit like you didnt know." he said still laughin. "we're goin to the blue boo! thats where all the gangbangers hang out plumber.

"soa you think thata Blingshell will be here then." said Mario unbelivingly.

"DAMN STRAIGHT!" SHouted bowser. then he got his cool back.

"Now keep you're fuckin mouth shit, this is my world so's let me do the talkin. We'll find that little bitch in no time."

"What ever." said Mario.

gettin inside the Blue Boo wasnt easy. the place was fuckin packed to the brim and all the smoke from weed and shit made the air hard to breath with out gettin baked. Bowser walked up to the bar and took out his bade.

"Sup Bow." Said the bar tender. (AN: i don't know what thier called but thier those creepy lookin pervs with those bowlin ball face masks)

"steve." Said Bowser. He took out his badge and put it on the bar.

"Lookin for a buddy of mine. Have a bit of business we need to take care of ya understand." he said serously.

"more under cover stuff?" said Steve.

"Sorta." Said Bowser like a mofo.

"and whos the chump?" said steve. he was pointin to mario who was drinkin a glass of water.

he's no body." said bowser. he put his claws on the desk and gave steve a scary look. "now stop wastin my time. Im lookin for a turled called Blingshell."

"Who?" Steve asked.

Bowser picked him up with one hand.

"Bling-Shell." Said Bowser slowly.

"Blingshell, got it." said Steve quickly.

"I still don'ta think that hes a gonna be here Bowser." Said Mario

"Shut up Plumber. Just leave every thing to me, I'll handle it." Said Bowser pullin a beer bottle to him and bited the top of it..

"Well if it's not the under cover cop." said some one behind them.

Mario and Bowser turned around to see a Goomba with a mohawk standin behind them. he ad a load of other goombas behind him.

"Spike." Said Bowser.

"Wheres my money Bowser." Said Spike. "Cuz, I's remember you own me a lot of coins for that ride of you'res outside.

Bowser put his beer on the counter.

"I'm workin on it." He said serously.

"but what if I want it now." said spike doochly.

""Then your fucked." said Bowser starin at him. but spike wasnt scared.

"Well maybe I just need to borrow some thing of you'res then." He said cooly and turned to his compodres. "Hey guys does any one want to take a ride? I know thiers a sweet kart in the alley parkin lot we can use."

Spike and his dudes started laughin but stopped when Bowser stomped Spike right in to the fuckin floor with his gaint foot.

"No body." Said Bowser angerly. "Touches the kart."

Then he turned back and finished his drink as steve came back over.

"Well?" said Bowser

"He is not here." said Steve.

"YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN ME STEVE, EVERY ONE COMES IN HERE!" shouted Bowser.

"but Blingshell." Said mario under his breathe.

"SHUT THE HELL UP1"

"Makea me!"

mario and bowser were about to fight then but they stopped beacuse steve coughed.

"butBlingshell's friend is here." said steve finaly.

they quickly turned back to him.

"great steve. Tell him I want o talk to him." Said Bowser.

"He says you cant." said Steve nerously.

"and why the fuckin hell not?" Said Bowser angerly.

"He said beacuse youd be very busy fightin for you're life and stuff." said steven now very nerously.

They heard chairs pullin back and Mario and Bowser noticed that every one wasn't talkin any more.

"How come He'lla be a busy fighin fora his a life?" Said Mario and dudes started linin up."

"Cuz Shells friend has just put a price on his head for twenty thou." said Steven.

AN: WHAT THE FUCK! Bow and Mario are in deep shit now boyz. or just bowser. any way looks like youll have to read the next chap to find out what happens next.

REVIEW THIS CHPTER OR GET SHELL POPPED1


	4. Chapter 4

Chaper four

AN: SUP FOOLS! bettin your wonderin what the fuck is happenin to Mario and BOwser right? Cuz last time we left with them stuck in a bar with a bunch of gangerbangers comin to attack them, and thats beacuse they wants the bounty of Bowsers head. things are gonna get CREYZEE sons!

Mario ducked as an other gangbanger went flyin over his head and hit the booze shelfs behind the bar. then bowser slammed on the counter cuz he had gottin a wicked right hook from a goomba in the crowd.

"hows it a goin?" asked Mario nicely as he drank his water.

"Shut the fuck upplumber." said bowser angerly. he shook him self off and charged back in.

(AN: mario isnt fightin beacuse every one is fightin bowser and so hes just sittin on his bar stool. LOL1)

He turned when a hand tapped his shoulder and saw a turtle starin angerly at him.

hey who are you." said the turtle angerly.

Mario flashed his badge.

"detective Mario. a cop." said Mario.

"oh okay." said the turtle nevously and walked away cuz no one wanted to mess with a cop so mario turned around again to look at steve who was hiddin behind the bar like a little bitch.

"you'rea names Steve right?" said Mario

"Yeyeyeyeah?" stuttered Steve.

"Whosa the guy that put the bounty ona lizard breath?" Said Mario.

"Hehehehe diddiddidnt say." said Steve scared.

"Then whata did he looka like?" he asked.

"IIII dododododon't know. He hadhadhad a mask on."

Mario pulled his mustash thought fully when Bowser landed on the bar this time. he helded on as tight as he could as gangbangers pulled hard on his tail.

'WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU JUST FUCKIN SITTIN THERE MARIO1' SHouted Bowser angerly.

"I'ma followin you're rules shit fora brains." answeared Mario.

'WELL FUCKIN STOP AND HELP ME1' Said Bowser gettin pulled back with his claws leavin marks on the bar.

"Whata about lettin youa do you're thing?" said Mario sarcastically.

'JUST HELP1'

Mario sighed as Bowser got pulled back in to the fight.

"Fine." he said and ate the glowin star he had pulled out of his pants. then he started glowin to and charged in and bein invenceble he beat the livin shit out of every one in less then a minute.

bowser got off the floor and looked all around to see all the groanin criminals and stared angerly at mario who had got back to normal.

"I fuckin hate you." He said growlin.

Mario turned to Steve and nodded at him.

"Will bea goin now Steve. Thanks fora all of you'rea help."

"Great work ya stupid plumber. now we dont have a lead." Said Bowser angerly as they went back to the kart. "Would've it kill you to at least keep one of those fuckers upright."

"Likea they would've knew." Mario shot back.

"they couldve." Bowser muttered.

"Well the next time some one startsa smashin you're face in I promise nota to hurt them." Mario said sacastically.

"fuck you." said bowser.

they drove in silance for a while.

"so... what the hell are we gonna do now." said Bowser finaly.

"Wella we need to finda Blingshell." said Mario pullin his stash.

"yeah I got that plumber. but how. thats the fuckin million dollar question." said bowser turnin at a stop sign.

"we need toa set up an other a trade."

"THATS you're fuckin brillant idea? that fuckers under wraps." said bowser unbelivingly.

"I didnta say it would bea cheap." said mario serously.

"cheap? I hate to break it to you but offerin more coins aint gonna work. i know these perps. you could have a million coins and he still wouldnt come. the fucker would just..."

he stopped talkin and grinnin evily.

"he'd sent one of his homies instead." said Bowser catchin on.

"anda he would know wherea Blingshell is." said Mario to.

"Nice plan plumber." Said Bowser. "Nice plan."

"yes it is."

"so where do we have to go to set this up." he asked.

"take a left downa this street here. theresa mechanic Ia know." said Mario mysteriously.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4

AN: Sup fools. Comin back for an other round of cool ass shit as Mario and bowser are gonna set up a deal to grab a fuckin dealer (AN: this is a reminder of the last chapers.) but first they must meet a mechanic that mario knows, WHO COULD THAT BE WE WONDER!?

Bowsers sweet kart pulled up to a peice of shit lookin buildin and stopped the kart. bowser looked at it in unbelive.

"this cant be the right fuckin place." said bowser.

"Ita is." said mario gettin out of the kart.

"But its a fuckin dump!" said bowser serously.

"Its a garage." said mario cooly.

Bowser got out of the kart too and looked up at the sign that was stickin out. it was called the grease monkey. (AN: THATS A PWN LOL!)

Bowser rubbed his head with his claws.

"the grease monkey? who the fuck would call it that." he said confusedly.

he walked in and every thing was realy loud and shit with monkeys usin power tools and huge sparks goin all over the place. Bowser brained him self on a awesome lookin rino cycle that was suspened on a fork lift. then a goofy lookin little monkey with a red base ball hat came from the ceiling and started wavin a wrench at him whil makin monkey noises.

"Shit up bitch!" said Bowser angerly. but the little monkey keeped wavin at him angerly.

"What'sa all the racket." said mario comin round a gaint muscle kart.

this fuckin monkey put a god damn motor cycle right in my fuckin way!" Said bowserangerly

The monkey, who was scratchin his ass with his free hand beacuse his tail was holdin him up then used it to give him the finger.

"want me to stick that up you're ass monkey boy." said bower angerly.

"leave him alone." said mario giving him a bananana. "we'rea lookin for the a boss. is hea in?"

the monkey made happy monkey noises and grinned.

"good. thena take us a to him." said Mario cooly.

the monkey landed on the floor and started goin some where with Bowser and Mario followin him. they stopped near a hover kart where a gaint monkey with a mask was weildin some thing.

"Heya Donkey Kong!" Said Mario over the noise.

DonkeyKong stopped weildin and pulled off his mask. he grined hugely when he saw Mario and walked over to him. They fist bumped a couple of time.

" Longa time noa see buddy." Said Mario

"EKK!" Agreed Donkey Kong cooly.

"I needa a favor. the perp gota way from me lasta time so I needa you to set upa new deal fora me." said Mario serously.

DK shook his head.

"EKK!" He said just as serously.

"I know a they are gonna be ona edge." said Mario. "Buta you know whata will happenin if we don'ta stop them.

DK noded sadly. then he looked over to see bowser's kart out of a window.

"OKK?" asked Donkey Kong pointin to the kart.

"What's he pointin to my fuckin kart for." said Bowser suspisously.

Donkey kong looked over at Bowser for the first time and thumbed at him to Mario.

"Itsa his." Said Mario.

"Damn straight it fuckin is." Said Bowser angerly. "And no damn dirty ape is gettin any where near it!"

DK didn't like what Bowser said and started goin near him but Mario stopped him by gettin in front of them and keeped them a part with both hands.

"Chill a Bowser! He'sa mechinac. He thinksa karts the samea way you do." Said mario.

then he pushed them both back and that wasn't easy.

"Anda hes the only one whoa can set up the deal."

Bowser stared angely at him then muttered.

"All right fine! THe fuckin monkey can take a look at it. but I don't like it."

DK looked over the kart very very closely and made happy monkey noises as he looked at it. then he opened the hood and looked at the engine to.

"What I don't fuckin get is how you know this ape." Said Bowser.

"Whata do you mean?" Said Mario.

"How can a goodie two shoes like you know a drug dealer?" Said Bowser.

"Donkey Kongs a nota a drug dealer." Said Mario

"then how come he's gonna set up a deal." said Bowser smugly.

"Gangabangers come in to a get thier karts fixed up and hea talks to them. Theya trust him. not a lot of garages area safe for them to leave thiera rides over night witha out them gettin chopped."

"Okay but how come YOU know him." Said Bowser.

"Ia busted him. Hea used to run a chop shop beforea he turned overa new leaf."

Bowser o mouthed in unbelive.

"RAN FUCKIN A CHOPSHOP! AND WE'RE LETTIN HIM TOUCH MY KART WHY1' BOwser shouted in shock.

"I saida he turned over a new leaf! I checka in on him alla the time! Mario shouted back.

'HE'S GONNA FUCKIN RIP US OFF PLUMBER1'

they were gonna keep shoutin but DK closed the hood and walked over to them.

"OOK!" Said Donkey Kong aprovingly.

"What did he say." Demanded Bowser.

"Hea said you're kart isa the best he's seen ina while." Said Mario.

Oh." Said Boser in surprise. then he sniffed and was back to normal. "No fuckin surprise my babys good. it cost fuckin arm a nd leg."

"Now abouta the call." Said Mario to Donkey Kong.

Donkey Kong nodded and went to his office and came back with some paper with a number on it. Mario took it.

"Thanks."

AN: Looks like Mario and Bowser are gettin nearer to breakin to poson shroom ring with the help of DK bitches! Find out what happens next when the next chapter comes out.

REVIEW THIS CHAPTER OR GET BOWSER STOMPED!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Five

AN: Sup fools. Hopin your ready for an other bite of pure awesomeness as the famous duo are on the trail of a poson shroom ring. But first they are gonna need names and for that they are gonna need a dealer.

Mario and bowser got out of the kart. it was gettin later in the day and they pulled up in a abandoned parkin lot. DK had set up the deal like they asked and now they were goin to see the dealer.

"That fuckin monkey better not have stiffed us." said bowser as they walked down a alley.

"Don'ta worry ya big whiner." said mario. he then ducked cuz bowser's foot had kicked a hole in the wall where marios head would have been.

"I'm not a whiner bitch! why the hell should we trust him." shouted bowser

"beacuse I a do!" shouted mario

"real fuckin comfortin plumber! I'll just walk in to a trap cuz you got a taste for monkey nuts!"

"Fucka you you stupida turtle!"

"IAM NOT A FUCKIN TURTLE1'

they were now practally rubbin noses cuz they were shoutin at each other face to face and they were so close they were almost touchin noses. They were about to start brawlin when some head lights flashed over them and snapped them out of it and they chilled out.

"Mist be the dealer." Said Boswer angerly.

"Yeah. Letsa get this over with." Said Mario.

They stood there and waited for the dealer. as got closer Bowser whistled under his breath.

"Damn." He said all impressed.

It was Blingshell.

"Guess we hit the fuckin jack pot." Said Bowser.

"Well letsa make sure we donta go home a broke and get this perp." Said Mario.

"I hear that." Said Bowser.

they walked over to Blingshell who didnt recognise Mario until it was too late.

"Oh shit!" Screamed Blingshell like a bithc.

He tried runnin away but bowser had all ready grabbed him by his shell and pulled him up so his tiny little feet kicked in the air

"Oh no you fuckin dont." said Bower. "not when you have some thing we need."

"Fu fu fu fuck you ! shouted Blingshell.

Bowser grinned evily.

"Hey. Thats some bad languege there pal. were all friends here. you need to loosen up." then bowser bounced him on the wall a few times and started laughin.

"Just tell me if the shell starts to crack okey bud."

then he stoped beacuse Mario had done a ground pound of his tail and tear were comin out of his eyes and he droped him. Bowser turned on Mario angery.

"WHAT THE FUCK MAN!" SHouted Bowser.

"Doesa the phase policea brutalitty mean a fuckina thing to you dumbass." Said mario annoyed.

"CORSE IT FUCKIN DOESNT YOU STUPID FUCKIN PLUMBER! I OUTA KILL YOU!"

"Before ora after you turna blingshell in to goop?" said mario sarcatilly.

"Turnin them in to goop works all the fuckin time!" Said Bowser angery.

"realy? Letsa see about that. Heya a Blingashell."

They both turned to look at Blingshell ONLY TO FIND HE WASNT THERE!

"Aw shit! He's gone!" Said Bowser.

"Quick he canta go far!" Agreed Mario. and they ran after him. it took a while to find him cuz when he saw them he started to run even harder so Bowser and Mario ran faster to. Bowser keept gettin stuck cuz the alleys were super small for him and his big ass shell.

"Get back here! When I catch you Im shovin my foot right up you're fuckin ass!" Shouted Bowser. he was realy runnin out of breath so he said all that in a high wheezey voice.

Suddenly they stopped in a abandoned lot. Bowser was all most about to fall over when he caught up with them. Mario looked all serously.

"Dont dont tell me we fuckin lost him." Said Bowser wheezely.

"Nota exactly." Said Mario and pointed.

Blockin the way was a ton of turtles and they all had bangin dew rags on thier heads.

"The Shells." said Bowser serously to.

"Youa know them?" said Maro.

"Yeah. they mean trouble."

"Fora us or for a him?" said Mario.

he said that beacuse the shells were blockin Blingshell to and he was sweatin and all that shit.

Sup Bling." said one of theshells.

"Su sup Chip." said Blingshell nervously.

Chip signaled to the other shells and then all of them putted out thier guns.

"We've been lookin for you son. You have been makin things on our turf realy fuckin difcult, ya hear me? And we don't like that Blingshell."

"I I I can explain Chip!" Said Blingshell sweatin a bucket.

"Thisa looks a bad." said Mario gettin ready to jump in. But Bpswer stopped him with one hand.

"I don't think that's a good idea Mario." said Bowser quitely.

"Why?"

"Well well well. What do we have here, a gay turtle convention?" said some one. every one looked over to see a bunch of Goombas in shades on the other side of the lot.

"Who area they?" Said Mario under his breath.

"Thier the Goombas. They've been fighting the shells for weeks over turf." said Bowser lowly.

"You have some fuckin nerve you shit lickers! This is the shell's turf!" Said Chip angerly.

"Yeah we know." Said the Goomba leader grinnin evily. "But we dont care about the low property value around here cuz once we out you bitchs it'll go thru the roof!"

"Oh yeah!?" Shouted chip as his home boys started gettin angery as hell. "Cuz I think some of you're fuckin skull is gonna go thru the roof first!"

"Yeah?" Said the Goomba leader suddenly gettin all serously.

"Yeah!" Said Chip scarly.

AN: SHIT SONS! Looks like Mario and Bowser and Blingshell are now in the middle of a fuckin gang war! How the fuck are they gonna get out of this one!?

REVIEW THIS CHAPTER OR GET GROUND POUNDD!


	7. Chapter 7

chapter 7

AN: Sup fools! Bettin you have been goin cray cray wonderin what the fuck is happenin to mario and bowser and blingshell since they are now in a gang war. Well it's gonna get intense so hold you're ass.

Bowser ducked as a bunch of mini bullet bills flew over and hit the wall behind him. he ducked back down behind the big ass dumpster they had jumped behind when shit started goin down. He looked at mario.

"Just our fuckin luck plumber. We find blingshell and those fuckin gangbangers decide nows the perfect time for a cock fight!"

Mario looked beside the dumpster and jumped back with a stray shell all most took his nose off.

"I canta see him!" said mario serously. "Did youa get a chance to see him justa then?"

"Yeah. the litte bitch is hiddin in that rusty piece of shit right there." said bowser pointin to a abandoned car that was right in the middle of all the action.

I say we wait until the fuckers kill each other then bitch slap bling." Said bowser but mariio shook his head.

"Noa. he maya be hit ina the cross fire we have'ta save a him now!" said mario.

bowser shrugged.

"Ok. I'll just wait here while you get him."

"What do youa mean wait! youra comin with me!" said Mario angerly.

"Why the fuck should I1" shouted Bowser angerly back. "all you need to fuckin do is use one of those stars of you'res and go all invencable. grabbin that turtle will be a fckin piece of cake."

"Well it woulda be if I hada any more goda damned stars!" Said Mario.

Bowser stared at him in shock as he o mouthed quitely.

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU OUT OF STARS YOU SON OF A FUCKIN BITCH1' HE shouted out loud.

"Wella my shut fora brains partner decided to geta his ass kicked ina a shity bar earlyier toa day." said Mario sarcasticaly. "toa make a long story short I used it to stop him becomina some one's bitch."

"I meant why one!" said Bowser grabbin him angerly by his straps.

"you knowa how hard ita is to GET one of thosea things? Itsa not some thing youa can get in the fuckin super market." said Mario evenly.

"But that mean Blingshell is fucked!" said Bowser.

"Wella now we area on the samea page." said mario lookin at the dumpster.

he walked a little a round it then he went over and started to try and lift it.

"What the hell are you doin Mario." said Bowser all confused.

"I'ma tryin to get thisa thing on a it's side." Said Mario in that weird half voice people get when thier liftin fuckin heavy things.

"Why?"

"Beacusea its gonna be the best shield we cana get to save Blingshell! Nowa give me a helpin handa here!" said mario wheezingly

"right!" said Bowser and he help him.

when it was turned over mario opened the lid and jumped in side.

"Starta pushin!" said Mario from inside.

"Why am I the one who has to push!" Said Bowser angerly.

"Just do ita!" Shouted Mario angerly.

Bowser glared at him and mutteredd under his breathe.

"Fine. Bet it fuckin smell s in there any way." He said as he pushed quitely.

With Bowser's fuckin awesome strongness he pushed the dumpster in to the cross fire and like Mario said the bullet bills bounced off only leavin dents instead of bullet holes. in no time Mario was right next to the rusted car and opened the lid.

'BLINGASHELL1' Shouted Mario. "Geta in if youa wanta to live!"

Blingshell, who was cryin like a baby all this time, jumped in and hugged Mario like he was is mom. But Mario wasnt payin attention cuz the gangbangers had noticed them.

"Who the fuck are they!" Shouted Chip over the gun fire.

"I don't have a fuckin clue about the smaller one." said another shell as he popped a cap in a goomba's ass. "But the big one is that under cover cop Bowser."

"The one with the fuckin bounty!?" Said Chip

Suddenly all the shells stopped firing all at once.

"Forget those fuckers boyz, pop that mother fucker Bowser right now!" Shouted Chip loudly.

"Like hell you ass wipes will!" Shouted the Goomba leader. He had a cut over his eye but he was still holdin his gun like a bad ass and now was pointin it at Bowser.

That Sixty G's is gonna be mine. get him!" he shoted.

Mario and Bowser looked at each other then grabbed Blingshell and ran realy realy quickly back to the kart. They jumped in as the two gangs chased them were gettin closer.

Boser revved the engine but it choked and nothin happened.

"Geta this movin!" Shout Mario.

"Im tryin! Shouted Bowser back as he kept revin the kart. suddenly a mini bullet bill made a hole thru Mario's hat. Mario grabbed it and ducked.

"FUCKA ME!" He shouted.

"Your not my type." Said Bowser and grinned when the kart started up. He floored it and they shot out in to the street like a fuckin cannon ball.

"OH YEAH!" He shouted happyly. "Let's see those dick lickers get us now!"

He looked over to his rear view mirror just in time to see it get smashed by a bullet as the two gangs drove out in the street in thier souped up rides. Bowser looked over to glare at them then turned back in his seat like the mofo he was.

"Buckle you'reself in Mario." Growled Bowser as he poped the clutch. "This is gonna fuckin be a bumpy ride."

AN: NEXT TIME... I'm keepin a secret, LOL1 All I'm gonna say for right now is one word.

AN: CARCHASE, BITCHES!

REVIEW THIS CHAPTER OR GET POPED BY A BULLET BILL!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

AN: Sup fools! Had a busy week so this is the only chater for now. Its ime to get down and crack open a crate of fuckin awe some bitches cuz our cops are bein chased by two gangs in their mother fuckn KARTS SONS11 so its gonna get cray-zee and EPIC! at the same time. so lets do this.

Bowser clawed the clutch and pulled it back at full trhottle as a couple of bullet bills flew over his head. then he floored it and they flew a way in a cloud of burnin rubber.

"OH YEAH FUCKERS" HE screamed out loud all happy. "You ass wipes are in Bowsers house now bitches!"

"Great. just bea sure youa lose them." shouted Mario over the noise.

"Relax Mario." Said Bowser confideantly. I got this."

Then he made a sharp right hand turn and then made a sharper left hand turn which confused the shit out of some of the dudes chasin them and they spun out and exploded when they hit the other cars behind them. Bowser moved his rear view mirror a round so he could see his handy work and grinned evily.

"Aw yeah." He said like a true Mofo.

"Hell yeah homies! thats what you get for messin with Bling." Said Blingshell. he had gothim self all buckled up in the back and had turned a round to give the burnin heaps the finger.

"Sit you're ass down !" Said Bowser angerly and all most flatted the turtle with one of his gaint fists.

"Where shoulda we go to lose them." said Mario

"What do you mean where. Did you see that pile up Mario. they aint goin any where." Said Bowsercooly.

A mini bullet bill smashed in to his rear view mirror and they turned to see twenty karts after them. Bowser stared at them angerly.

"Dont say a fuckin thing plumber." Said Bowser shiftin gears.

"I didnt say anya thing." Said Mario but grinnin all the same.

Bowsers sweet ride turned to another street and they went down it. it was narrow so the karts behind them had to go in one be one. all of them were shootin so stay bullet bills were goin every where.

"We havea to get outa here now." Shouted mario.

Workin on it!" Shouted bowser back and turned again in to a larger street nearby. but this was a bad move cuz THERE WAS A PARAID THERE1

"REally!"

"Shit up thier right behind us!

Bowser moved his cart right in to the paraid right behind a giant newter and spay you cat float and a veterns of mushroom kingdom float. Mario unbuckled his seat belt and stood up.

"What are you goin you idiot." Said bowser

"I'ma gonna take outa a few ofa those gangabangers." Said mario serously.

"Realy? count me in! I never had a paraid fight!" Said bowser exciteldy.

"Youa canta come witha me. You havea to look aftera Blingshell." Said Mario angerly.

"Babysittin! Fuck that!" Said Bowser

"Okaya fine. I thata care of the onesa behind us anda you takea care ofa the ones goinga after thisa kart." Said Mario annoyed.

"Damn straight!" Said Bowser happyly. "And those fuckin bitches are gonna get it."

Mario jumped away on to the next float and disapeared. Bowser keeped grinn for a while but this suddenly looked very angery.

"That fucker tricked me didnt he." He said angerly.

"Yeah son."  
"Shut the fuck up I didnt ask you!" Shouted Bowser angerly.

Mario pulled out a brown leaf and ate it and become a brown racon. He used it when ever he needed to fly or hover a round and now was a perfect time. He hided behind a papermachete head of a giant mushroom dude and watched the gangbangers get closer to thier floats.

"Letsa go." Said Mario awesomely under his breathe.

And jumped!

Then he started usin his tail so his fall was super slowed down and landed on on the roof on one of the karts. Chip looked up at it angerly.

"What the fuck is that!" He said angerly to one of his homies.

"I dunno." Said the homie.

"Well find out you mother fucker!" Said Chip puttin a gun a cross his head.

So the homie looked out and saw Mario on the roof of the car.

"Its a racon Boss!" Said the homie and then Mario kicked him in the face and he fell out and screamed as he bounced down the road.

"Cap the furry's ass!" Shouted chip!

Every oped fire on the roof makin it in to swiss cheese but mario had all ready jumped off and landed on the drivers head behind them and then the rest of the heads before jumpin to the next kart. He landed in the backseat, tail slappd every one and then back flipped on to the next float.

The Goomba leader saw this and was impressed but he wanted that bounty and Blingshell beacuse he fuckin hated turtles so he reached in his glove box.

"Suck on this You racon." Said the Goomba and threw a granade. (AN: Yeah he is just that awesome)

Mario saw this and used his tail to hit it back back to the goomba where it hit him in the face and exploded. This was super fuckin cool but then the burnin kart crashed in to a gas station and then THAT blew up too!

Mario saw all this and started runnin back to Bowser as fire was coverin all the floats and settin them on fire. One of them had a lot of fuckin fire works and they all went off LIKE AN EXPLOSION as Mario flew a way and landed in the passinger seat of Bowsers ride. Bowser stared at him angerly.

"Havin fun you bastard." He said.

"Floora it!" Shouted Mario.

So Bowser floored it. They turned to a new street as the rest of the Gang bangers followed them. a motor cycle pulled up right now to bowser and pulled out his gun but bowser grabbed it and punched the dude off the bike. Then he tossed it to Mario.

"use this while I ditch this ass holes." said Bowser serously.

"Gotta it."

Mario opened fire and shot out the tires of the first few karts but then another one got past him and pulled up next to them and opened fire. Mario and Bowser ducked but mario's side of the kart was gettin blown full of bullets and that made Bowser realy fuckin angery and so he got up again and took a deep breathe.

"NO ONE FUCKS WITHTHE KART YOU FUCKIN BITCHES1" HE shouted and then blew fire all over their kart which caught on fire and crashed in a star bucks.

Mario looked at him funny as Bowser got back in his seat. Bowser saw this and turned to stare angerly at him.

"What are you fuckin lookin at?" He demanded.

"Oh a nothin." Said Mario fakely. Then he looked in front and pointed in shock.

"Looka out!" Shouted Mario.

But Bowser didn't have enough time and they hit the fruit stand at full speed. they had drived in to a market place and now there were stands every where. Mario was almost buried in bananas and Bowser had a lot of fruit stuck on his head in a pile. But the kart could still go so Bowser floored it and started wievin around stands and people as the last five karts and three motor cycles still went after them.

"We can lose them near the docks." Said Bowser takin the mellon off his head. "Just keep shootin at them."

Mario nodded and then started to look thru the bananas. He started lookin realy worryed and looked thru them faster.

"What are you waitin for!" Shouted Bowser. A bullet had gone thru a orange and the juice had gone every where.

"I canta find it! It musta been knockeda off whena we hit the standa."Said Mario. "But dont a worry theresa plan b."

"Realy what?" Said Bowser.

"Mhp mmhp mhp mhp!" Said Mario.

Bowser turned to see him crammin his face full of bananas.

"What the fuck are you doin Plumber! This is not the time to fuckin eat we need a way to slow them down!"

"Firsta, eyes on thea road Shell brain!" Said Mario cooly

"I'm not a turtle!" Shouted Bowser.

"Seconda." Said Mario ignorin him. "I got ita covered."

as the karts started gettin nearer Mario started throwin banana peels behind them. one of the karts slipped on them and spun out and crashed in to another kart and they both stopped. seein this the other karts slowed down to avoid them. Bowser grinned and nodded.

" Nice." he said.

Thier kart sped a way as they made their way to the docks but then they saw some thing realy bad.

"Aw fuck." Said Bowser under his breathe.

"Damn it!" Said Mario.

Then they looked behind them. the gang bangers were gettin realy close.

"Witha the bridge up we cana we go now?" Said Mario serously.

"No where. Were screwed." Said Bowser lookin at the bridge. Then he started revin the engine.

"That's why we're gonna jump it." Said Bowser cooly.

"Thats impossible!" Shouted Blingshell. "Youll never make it!"

"Shut up!" Said Mario and Bowser andpushed Blingshell back down. Mario looked at Bowser.

"Cana we though?" He said serously.

Bowser put it in to last gear.

"Fuck if I know." He said grinnin. "Lets find out.

Bowser floored it and the Kart went up the bridge like a ramp and took off in to space. They flew over a smoke stack of a cruise liner and then just narrowly landed on the other side where Bowser did a skid stop. The gangbangers tried to make the jump to but didn't make it and landed on the ship instead and blew up in the smokestack.

"Fuck yeah!" Shouted Bowser. " We fuckin kicked thier bitch ass!"

"Yesa we did!" Said Mario and they high fived each other.

"We fuckin rock!"  
"Yeah!"

Then they relized they were havin a moment and stopped.

"Would've been faster if you didn't lose the gun," Said Bowser gruffly.

"Before ora after you gota us stuck ina pariad." Said Mario annoyed

"Shut up! Lets just get Blingshell to sqeul and break the ring up all ready." Said Bowser.

"Just a what I wasa about toa say." Agreed Mario.

They turned to the back seat and found it was empty. Blingshell was GONE!

"YOU LOST HIM AGAIN!?" THey shouted at each other.

AN: Leave it to those morons to lose Blingshell after all this epic ass shit goin on. Will they be able to find this bitch in the next chaper? Find out next time boys!

REVIEW THIS CHAPTER OR GET BOWSER FLAMED!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

AN:Sup fools. I have nothin realy kick ass to say right now so I am leavin this short. Mario and Bowser are still lookin for Blingshell WHO THEY LOST LOL and now they are lookin for him all over again. But Iam gonna put a stop to it once and for all.

"Whered he fuckin go where'd he fuckin go!" Said bowser angerly.

"Hea canta have gone far." Said mario while the searched the docks.

Then he pointed

"Therea he is!" Said mario loudly.

Blingshell was a few yards a way from them and then turned and ran. Mario and bowser chased him and jumped over crates and barrels, but that slowed them down. When they turned Blingshell was gone.

"FUCK1" SHouted bowser.

"Dont stopa now idiot. Wea canta leta him go now" said Mario catchin up.

"Sure plumber well just pull him out of thin air and arresthim. He's disapeared!"

"He didnta." Said Mario serously.

"Okay then where is he." Said Bowser annoyed.

Mario pointed at Bowser's feet and made him look down. He was standin over a man hole with the top pulled off. it fuckin stank.

"Aw shit." Said Bowser

...

"I'm gonna make turtle soup out of that bitch. OW!" Said Bowser

"Justa be sure youa clean him firsta." Said Mario

the sewers were super dim and slippery as hell. It kind of looked like a under ground temple with bendy arches eccept for all the slime and shit. But Mario walked in it like a breeze and looked at the ground for foot prints.

"Hea went thisa way." Said Mario pointin down a tunnel.

"Still think OW, I should have just fuckin torched these fuckin sewers. OW!" Said Bowser annoyed.

"Yeah. And thena we can explaina to thea chief why wea blew up thea entire docks. This place isa full ofa shit gas (AN: I know it has a fancy name but I cant remember it but you get the idea) one match anda this place goesa atomic. Explained Mario.

"So? This fuckin place has insurance." Said Bowser. "OW!" (AN: Totaly forgot to mention but Bowser is to tall in the sewers sos he's bangin his head on the roof all the fuckin time LOL)

They walked in silance for a while as they followed the trail. Then mario started hummin.

"hum hum hum humhum hahum hahahaha hum ha ha hum hum!" Hummed Mario.

"Serously." Said Bowser.

"Whata?" Said Mario

"We are OW chasin a fuckin perp bitch this isn't a walk in the OW fuckin park." Said Bowser.

"Hea doesnt knowa his way around here." Said Mario cooly. "Ia do soa we havea the edge."

"He will hear you dipshiOW GODDAMN IT I HATE THIS FUCKIN SEWER!" ShoutedBowser. Bits of shit covered cement fell off in the green water.

"Wella at least youa area usin you indoora voice." Said Mario sarcasticaly.

"Fuck you." Said Bowser ribbin his nose.

Then Mario stopped him and pointed at a metal ladder.

"You sure." Said Bowser quitely.

"Yes." Said Mario

"Then lets get him." Said Bowser

Mario and Bowser climbed up in to a sort of ware house full of boxs and stopped. Leadin a way from the ladder was a trail of brown foot steps. They followed it for a while and then the tracks faded a away with two ways he could have gone. Mario and Boser looked at each other and nodded and then split up.

Mario was havin a hard time tryin to find his way thru the maze when suddenly he heard a shot.

"Shita." Wispered Mario. "Bowser."

With out wastin time he jumped on top of the crates and ran to where he heard it and bumped in to Bowser.

"Was it you?" Said Bowser serously.

"No you?" Said Mario just as serously.

"Hell no."

"Thena its" Started Mario.

"Some one ELSE!" Finished Bowser and they ran.

But it was to late. When they get where it happened they found Blingshell lyin in a pool of turtle blood. Some one had shot him.

"Shita." Said Mario.

Bowser grabbed Blingshell and shook him.

"Where are the shrooms bitch! Where are the fuckin shrooms!" He shouted.

"Bowser hesa been shot!" Shouted Mario. "Itda be better toa ask who shota him!"

"Fuck that! Couldve been some homeless dude or druggie. We need to find the Shrooms." Said Bowser angerly.

"It was the..." Said Blingshell weakly.

"Yeah?" Said Mario holdin Blingshell.

"It was the Big Man." Said Blingshell finaly.

" The shrooms Bling." Said Bowser grabbing his shoulder "Where are the shrooms!"

"You're lookin...at... "

And then Blingshell died.

'FUCK1' SHOuted Bowser angerly and kicked a crate to pieces.

"The Biga Man." Said Mario serously. "Whosa the Biga Man."

'I DON'T FUCKIN KNOW LET'S ADD THAT TO THE FUCKIN LIST!' Shouted Bowser.

"Whatsa you're deal." Said Mario gettin up angerly

"My fuckin deal plumber is that we were this fuckin close to at least put a goddamned dent in the ring by destroyin thier stash and YOU fuckin wasted it to play twenty questions! Now we dont know where they keep the fuckin shrooms!" Said Bowser

"Hea told usa where ita is." Said Mario cooly.

"Oh you mean were lookin at them? Yeah like thats realy fuckin helpful. Were in a fuckin ware house packed to the ceilin bitch!" Said Bowser.

"So? Thisa place isa full of crates. They coulda be here." Said Mario

"Yeah they could and I could be fuckin santa! What you ecpect the shrooms to be in all these crates? Will lets see whats behind crate number fuckin one." Said Bowser.

Bowser put his fist thru it like a karate master and pulled out some thing out and looked at them.

It was a posion shroom.

Bowser o mouthed.

"Not a word Plumber." Said Bowser suddenly. "Just cuz this crate has the shrooms doesnt mean they all do."

"Then letsa check anothera one." Said Mario.

Then they opened another one. It was full of posion shrooms to.

"Twoa out of three?" Said Mario.

"Shit up." SaidBowser. He opened another crate and they looked in.

"Well this one doesn't have shrooms." said Bowser finaly.

"Noa it doesnt." Agreed Mario.

This crate was fuckin packed with C-4 and plastic explosives. on top was a little monitor with flashin lights.

"Thisa one isa a bomb." Said Mario.

AN: Daaaaaammmmmmmnnnnnnn. They lose a main witness find the shroom motherload and now are lookin down the barrel of a BOMB! And who the fuck is the Big Man? He must be some cold blooded mofo to insure his warehouse with a ton of fuckin explosives sons.

AN: Can Mario and Bowser escape? Find out in the next chapter.

REVIEW THIS CHAPTER OR GET BLOWN UP!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

AN: Sup fools! Back to bring you another can of epic whoopass evvah! yeah beacuse when we were last with Mario and Bowser they were lookin at A BOB! This is so fuckin intense I am typin his as fast as I can cuz other wise I may not have much to write about later!

"Were fucked!" Said bowser as they lookd at the bomb.

"Onlya if wea stay here!" Said mario serously. "Wea have to geta out ofa here now!"

Mario and bowser ran as fast as they could as the timer started countin down from ten. Things looked fuckin hopeless as there were a lot of boxs in the way so mario had to jumpon them very accritley and bowser had to body slam his way out. Bowser made it to the doors first and opened them and looked a round to see that mario had triped and fall over.

"Leavea me!" Said Mario.

But Bowser didnt listen. He ran back and picked up Mario and carryied him out just as the bomb hit zero and blew the ware house to fuckin shit. it was intense (AN: imagine like the best explosion you ever saw and add it by ten. that was this fuckin explosion)

Mario and bowser got up and looked at the fuckin inferno they had escaped. Mario stared at unbelive.

"Wea made it." He said slowy.

Bowser fisted the air.

"FUCK YEAH bitches! Aient no fuckin explosion gonna ruin my fuckin day! It can suck my dragon dick!"

Bowser got up and started doin a touch down dance.

"Whatyou gonna do now msyterous evil dude huh! You cant bomb the Bowser bitch! CAN'T BOMB THE BOW-SER1 Bowser eats fuckin bombs for a mid night fuckin snack. I got out and had so much fuckin time I came back and pulled my partner out too! Suck it!"

"Yeah. I thoughta I told youa to leavea me." Said Mario confused.

Bowser loled. "Fuck that! Your my fuckin partner boy! I aient gonna leave you behind." Suddenly he stopped dancin and then started actin all tough. "That would ruin my cred and I am not gonna lose that for some stupid fuckin plumber!"

"Ifa you say soa." Said Mario gettin up.

"The fuck it is!" Said Bowser angerly. "I just came back for this and decided to pick you up on the way!"

"Pick whata up?" Said Mario

"This. I grabbed it for evidence." Said Bowser.

Mario looked at the crate top that bowser had grabbed. He stared at it for some time.

"Great a mount of fuckin good now. Whats left of Blingshell is fuckin barbeqe right now with all the fuckin shrooms. We dont know where to look now." Said Bowser

"Actally I thinka we do." Said Mario slowly.

"What?" Said Bowser

Mario showed him the logo that was stamped on it. It looked like garlic with lightin bat wings.

And that's suposed to mean shit." Said Bowser.

"Ita means I know where thesea crates camea from."  
He gave him a serouse look.

"Thisa is the Wario Co logo." He said serously.

"Wario. You mean the fuckin Wario?" Said Bowser just as serously.

"The onea and the same." Said Mario.

Bowser cracked his nuckles.

"Then lets go pay him a visit." He said evily.

AN: Oh man. Nothin like seein a familler face. But may be not this time. does he know who is behind the ring? Wario may be deeper then they think. Find out later fools.

RATE THIS CHAPER OR GET SHELL POPPED


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

AN: Sup fools. time to check in with the cops who have a new fuckin lead name WARIO! thats right fuckin wario. dudes fuckin awesome nuts. and if any one is gonna lead them to the big man it may be him.

this the fuckin place?" Said bowser.

mario looked at him funnyly and then at the huge sky scraper in front of them. it was at least a thousand storys tall and in the center was a gaint nose with a w shaped mustash.

"Gee ita has a gainta fuckin nose. whata other buildin hasa that?"

"thats not a nose. looks like a mother fuckin peice of garlic." Said bowser annoyed

"That isa what his nose looksa like." Said mario.

"twenty bucks." Said bowser.

"Deala." Said mario

they went inide.

in it was a sweet ass lobby that was made out of pure gold and blinged the shit out with diamonds and fuckin ruby and emralds with strobe lights and a fog machine at full fuckin blast. it was sweet. they went over to the desk and the reciptionest looked at them.

"Yes can i help you." said the mushroom girl

"wea like to seea mr. wario." Said Mario takin out his badge. "Could you buzza us in."

mario and bowser rode up in a elevator way more epic then other elevators with high end woofers and laser display. finaly it stoped and they went out. the office they got in was just as mind blowin as the rest with a sharkqauryium for a floor. Wario looked at them

"Hey ifa it isnt mya favoritea detective mario." Said wario. then he looked over and bowser.

"anda if ita isnt the underacover cop bowser. how's ita hangin big lizard."

"Fuck pff" Said bowser angerly.

"whats a up with him?" said wario to mario

hea lost a bet." said mario to him.

"okay. so whata can I do for youa two." said wario.

bowser slapped the table loudly.

"Fuckin give up now or I'll make you my bitch. we know about the fuckin shrooms in the ware house." said bowser gettin eye to eye to wario.

"Whata the fuck are youa talkin about." Said wario confused.

"he's talkina about the posion shroomsa that area floodin the streets." Said mario "We hada evidence but ita got blown up. But we havea a new lead."

"Thats fuckin right!" Said bowser.

he slamed the burnt peice of crate with the wario logo stamped on it.

"We found a whole mother fuckin ware house full of you're fuckin crates and they were full of the shrooms."

Wario slitted his eyes.

"What are youa sayin lizard." he said dangerusly.

"I fuckin sayin you own the fuckin crates bitch. and that means your the fuckin big man." Said bowser serously.

"The biga man. Youa think I'm the biga man?" Said Wario just as serously.

"Yeah. Yeah I fuckin do." Said Bowser

they looked at each other nose to nose for a while then wario started his ass off.

Bowser o mouthed.

"Whata is soa funny." Said Mario.

"thisa lizard thinks I ama the biga man! That is so fuckin hiliarous." laughed wario.

"Buta this is you're crate right." said mario.

"Damna straight. but Ia throw them away whena I get all the gold and booze out. I have a tona them all the time." Said wario.

"Soa you supply the shroom ring witha crates." Said mario serously.

Wario looked at him angery.

"Supplya? Supplya? area you sayina I sell thingsa. fora money?" Said Wario angerly. "Likea WORK."

"Well how fuckin else did you get this place." Said bowser sarcasticaly.

Wario grabbed Bowser by his shell and pulled him near. he holded up a fist with five golden rings that spelled wario.

"I make it witha this. all ofa this. Why shoulda I fuckin work when I beata the livin shit out of gangbangersa and steal alla thier money. thisa fist isa the last thing theya see. ora the shadow ofa my fat ass justa before they sucka my dick." Said wario. "so don't darea say I had toa work for all ofa this."

"So what youra sayin is that thisa lead was a bust." Said Mario.

Wario thought about this.

"May bea not." He said grinnin.

"What do you mean." Said bowser.

"Oh thatsa right. You guysa are cops. you won't know." said wario.

"hey I know fuckin every thing in the under world!" Said bowser angerly.

"thena you know about... the paloza." Said Wario.

" The paloza. Hell yeah I know about the paloza!" Said Bowser.

"What'sa the paloza?" Said Mario.

"Its a big event for all the pimps and gangbangers in the kingdom. Its like a meeting and a party had a fuckin super baby where all kinds of shit goes down. I have been lookin all over for where its happenin this year but I haven't had any fuckin luck."

"Well thisa guy knows where its goin down." Said Wario.

"Youa do?" Said Mario.

"Yes. Anda the big man has toa be there if hea wants to deal ina this town." Said Wario cooly.

"Great! Then lets go fuckin get him!" Said BOwser.

"Hold on therea skippy." Said Wario. May bea you forgot thata you have a fortya thousand price on you're skull. Youa think you cana get in the paloza witha out gettin you're ass shota to shit."

"Yeah. I'll grab a few fuckin molotoves crack out my shotgun and rifle and blast my fuckin way thru those gangbangin bitches and get my man."

"Yeah we'rea not doin that." Said Mario.

"Well I love to hear you're fuckin plan Mario. Bet it has us fuckin wait outside and ask the big man to please come over so we can get to our hairdressers on time." said Bowser.

"No. wea sneak in ina disguese and find out whose the big man." Said Mario.

And thats better then my plan plumber." Said Bowser angerly.

"Letsa see." Said Mario sarcasticaly. "You'rea plan is to goa in guns ablazin with out knowin whose thea target. The onlya way to be surea is to killa everya one in the paloza. Thats a brillint idea."

"Well unless you can find a way to get us identys before the paloza starts we are doin this my way."

Mario looked at him then at Wario.

"I'ma gonna have toa call in a favor." Said Mario.

"Noa problem." Said Wario. "I have thea perfect waya in."

AN: Things are gonna get crazy in the next few chapers what with this paloza goin down. Mario and Bowser are gonna be with some of the most dangerous gang bangin fuckers and the big man himself. This is gonna kick ass!

REVIEW THIS CHAPTER OR SEE WARIO'S ASS!


	12. Chapter 12

AN: Sup fool! Time for another chaper of kick ass levels as mario and bowser have to get in a gangbanger palooza to find the big man. but they have to be super secret cuz of theprice on bowsers head and every thing. good thing our man wario has a fuckin awe some idea1

AN: Serously its fuckin sweet. i laughed my fuckin ass off.

PRO LOG

Deep in the bottom of a gaint rusty cruse liner...

"I FUCKIIN HATE HIM!" SAid bower angerly.

"Keepa you're damna voice down." Said mario walkin next to him. they were walkin down a super dark hallway full of dirt and cob webs and shit and his voice went every where.

"FUCK THAT MARIO1 WHEN I SEE HIM I AM GONNA FUCKIN KILL HIM. SLOWLY." sAID Bowser angerly.

"Better then usa. Ifa we wenta in guns blazina we'd nevera come back outa. There musta be hundreds ofa them in herea."

mario looked at him serously.

Remembera. We area lookin for the biga man okay. thata what we area here for. NO FIGHTING. Gota that."

Bowser made angery mumlin noises.

"Gota that?"

"Fine." Said Bowser at last. "But Im still gonna kill that fucker."

"Whata ever you saya." Said Mario

"I'm gonna rip of f his fuckin dick then I'm gonna shove it down his mother fuckin mouth till it comes out his god damn fuckin ass1" Said Bowser evily.

"Thata may help us. Keep thata in mind when wea are ina."

...

CHAPTER 13

Things were fuckin sweet for the palooza this year. All the dealers and the pimps and bitchs got here and the party was in full fuckin swing. Goomboy realy wanted to go over to some fune honeys and play his sweet moves but he can't. He was the dude who lets people in so he had to stand near the openin at take peoples guns and explosives off them before they can in. He wanted to cap some fools ass but this invition only party did not get crashers ever. He was fuckin bored.

Then he saw some one comin in.

"Wazzup Goomboy!" Said Wario. He was wearin gold shades and a sweet ass white tux that made his bling even fuckin shinyer.

"Wario! Its a fuckin party now!" Said Goomboy happyly.

"Damna streight." Said Wario givin his a invition.

Then he leaned over.

"I needa a favor Goomboy. Got a frienda who is outa town cool bro. Told him abouta the palooza anda he fliped his shita. Hea wanted to geta in but of coursea he dont havea fuckin ticket. Said Ia could hook hima up with some for him and thea bitches but I only gota the one. Knowa what I'ma sayin." Said Wario secretly.

"I know what you are sayin son." Said Goomboy lookin worryed. "But if any one found out I let you in theyd fuck me over. Gonna have to tell you're friend he's fucked."

Wario looked realy sad. But in a fake way.

"Thata fuckin sucks. Youa sure?"

Wario holded up a fat wad of benginmins and shoved it in his pocket.

"Hea realy wants to geta in." He said fake serously.

Goomboy looked at the bills and shruged his shoulders.

"Shit." He said finaly. "Must be his fuckin lucky day. Just remember some banger called in sick for this so I have his tickets. You can have them cuz were so tight and all."

"Thanksa!"  
"It's all good." Said Goomboy as they fist bumped.

He then snaped his fingers to a short dude with a wicked mustash and a big muscled dude.

"I aint packina heat boy!" Said Wario all hurt.

"You know its good. Just a formalitty for you and you're friends." Said Goomboy.

"Okaya." Said Wario. Then he looked over to his friend who was a pimp. He was fuckin decked out in a matchin sweet purple zebre coat and hat with a long rim and a white osrich feather, had a big pair of mirror sun glasses and had a long white walking stick with a diamond top.

"Gota a problem with thata Daddy Kong?" Said Wario.

Daddy Kong shrugged and gave Goomboy a big ass grin. He let them pat him down but they found nothin so they let him thru. Then one of the dudes went over to the ladies.

"If you fuckin touch me I break you're mother fuckin arm." Said one of them angerly.

"Yeah!" Said Wario angerly to. "Likea shes packin morea then hera mama gave her."

Goomboy looked up at her. Bitch was fuckin huge and was in a neon green tube top and mini skirt with fishnets down to her spiky heels.

"Right.. what ever you say."

The other one giggled and then he looked at her. She had leopard print shirt that showed off her bobs and skin tight tigh high blackleather boots. Daddy Kong leaned over.

"Eek eek eek!" He said.

"Daddy Konga says" Said Wario cooly. "He and his bitches maya pay you a visit latera."

Then he shouldered him in his gut play fully.

"Ora may be just littlea Bow Bow." He said laughin out loud.

"Not fuckin likely." Said Little Bow Bow in a scary low voice.

"_Cana we go ina now?_" Said the other bitch in like the highest girly voice you ever heard. "_I'ma bored!_"

"Surea thing Marioete!" Said Wario. Then he looked at Goomboy.

"We cana go in now righta?" He said

"Of of corse." Stutered Goomboy. and watched them go in to the palooza.

"I'm gonna fuckin kill you when this is over." Said Bowser angery to wario as they got in to the crowd. Then he pointed to Donkey Kong. "and why the fuck did we have to bring him to!"

"Beacusea they know me herea." Said Wario. "Looka I said I had a plana. Lest youa could do is say thanka you. And until thena you should risea you're voice Littlea Bow Bow. Othera wise people maya think your a fuckina dude."

"_He'sa right Littlea Bow Bow. The soonera we find the biga man the bettera._" Said Mario adjustin his fake boobs.

Bowser grumbled.

"_Well this had better be fuckin worth it plumber!_" Said Little Bow Bow in a high girly voice. "_Other wise I'm makin fuckin people bleed._"

AN: Fuckin hilarous. Mario and Bowser are fuckin hookers in the biggest gang bang party EVAH! What can happen next boyz!

REVIEW THIS CHAPTER OR GET SHELL POPPED!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 14

AN: Sup fools. Time to whip out another chapter bitchs! Been havin a busy month but Im keepin up so you can know whats goin down in the palooza. Just to remind Mario and Bowser are under disguys. AS HOOKERS LOL1 any way now they are lookin for the big man who is suposed to be at this party. lets just hpe its before they have to do a lap dance! LOL1

Marioete looked a round as he pulled his mustash. all the gang bangers rockin out to a kick ass beat and there was at least two hundread of them.

"Thisa isnt gonna be easya." Said Marioete.

Little bow bow looked around to as wario and daddy kong went over to get some fortys.

"_Still dont know why I didnt be the pimp._" said little bow bow in a girly voice. he was still frickin pissed.

"beacusea you own half ofa them money." Said Marioete annoyed.

"_Not fuckin all of them!_" Said Bow bow angerly.

"Wella that means youra out." Said Marioete. "Letsa split up so wea can find the biga man."

but before then some one got thier attention.

"Hey big turtle mama! Wanna come over here to daddy an get you're allowans." It was some turtle drunk off his fuckin ass with his homies. they all were laughin. but they all stoped when a stillateto heel stomped just inches from the tutles nuts.

"_Im not a fuckin turtle honey!_" Said Bow Bow dangerously.

"UHHHHHHHHHH!" said the turtle.

Marioete made a breatheing sound and was about to jump in when he saw him.

On the other end of the room he saw a wierd lookin turtle. (AN: you know those stupid lookin ones in the magic dress things and those fuckin goffy glasses). He was dressed all in black and was actin suspicoously like dartin his head around and lookin real nerous and shit. He started movin a way from the party so marioete started to folow. but then he remembered that bowser was about to beat the livin shit out of some gang banger so he grabbed wario.

"_Keepa a eye on bowser._" Said Marioete. and then lef.

The ship hall ways were super quite from the party and no one was in it. mario had to move real quite so's not to tip of the koopa. he saw the perp dart a way an went after him runnin. they went up some stairs and thru some more hall ways before he stoped. Mario stopped to and hid when he turned to looked behind him. He hopped that he didnt see him but he hadnt.

The koopa then climbed up some stairs and Mario followed him. but when he got to the top he found he was on the deck of the ship and the koopa was gone and people in suits were lookin at him funnyly.

"Shita." Said Mario under his breathe.

Mario knew he had now run in to the other party on the boat. The one that Bowser told him about. The palooza was all ways hosted next to a rich ass party so that no cops would be there and if thier was they would not do any thing cuz then the rich people would sue thier asses for thinkin they were breakin thier own party and then cover the whole thing up. Bowser said it was the best insureance for the underworld ever and Mario agreed with him. He had been to a lot of rich partys with peach so he was seein a lot of people he knew and they were all fuckin loaded and super powerful in polotics and law. Problm was that his perp was now with them and could hide thanks to his black dress thing.

Mario saw more people lookin at him funnyly. Then he remember what he was wearin and that he was under cover so he played with his hair and giggled girlishly.

"_Stopa it! You boys area embarassin mea._" He said in a fake womans voice.

It worked and every one stoped. Mario was relived and startin lookin around. It was like a needle in a hay stack only with people and animals wearin suits. Mario wondered why the koopa was up here now then in the palooza. He thought it was the big man but now he was not sure.

Then he saw some one in black leave the group and walk to a empty part of the ship deck. Mario went after him and grabed his shoulder and turned him around.

"Whata are youa doin!" Said Mario.

"What are you talkin about!" Said the dude. It wasnot the koopa but just some waiter.

"Nevera mind." Said Mario and let him go.

He turned to leave as behind him a door opened and then he bumped in to some one leavin the bathroom near by. Since they were taller then him he got a face full of boobs.

"Oh my!" Said the Lady surprised.

Mario stepped back very quickly. He face was realy red.

"I'ma so sorry, I'ma so sorry!" He said fast. "I didn'ta know you were standin there." And then even more quickly he stopped and o mouthed in shock. IT WAS PEACH1 She was dressed in a fine pink sulk dress that was sliced on the sides near her legs. It showed off her hot bod with out makin her look like a slut.

Peach looked at Mario worryed.

"Are you okay?" She said worryedly.

"Justa fine!" Said Mario. Peach smiled and gave her hand.

"My name is Peach. What's you'res?" She said.

"Mario." Said Mario with out thinkin. Then he got him self togather and added in his girly voice._ Ete! My namea is Marioete! It isa a pleaure toa meet you Peach!_"

Peach gave him a confused look and tilted her head to one side.

"Marioete? Thats a weir name. Are you italian?" Said Peach.

"_Yesa I am!_" Said Mario quickly and hoped that was it. But Peach kept lookin at him very closely.

"_Isa there some thing ina my hair?_" Asked Mario worryedly.

"Oh no." Said Peach shakin her head. " you just remind me of some one I know. Some one very close to me... but I cant put my finger on it." (AN: She doesnt thats Mario!)

"_I geta that all the time._" Said Mario quickly.

"Really?"

"_Oha yes. All thea time._" Said Mario. Then he looked around.

"_What area you doin here any way?_" He asked

Peach put a hand to her mouth.

"You don't know?" She said amazed.

"No."

"Well Im am here for the little kids of the mushroom orpahnage. I'm tryin to get money for them so they wont starve until they get adopted." She said serously.

"_Thata sounds like a good charitity._" Said Mario lookin around.

"At least you think so." Said Peach suddenly annoyed. "My boyfriend was suposed to be here and help me but he is not here."

"_May bea he's busy._" Said Mario.

"That's exactly what he'd say! I know he's a cop but he promised he'd be here for me." Said Peach sadly and that made Mario feel like shit. Then he shook himself and grabbed peach.

"_Peach cana you help me?_" He said.

"Of couse. Was is it Marioete?" Said Peach

"_I losta a friend of mine anda I need toa find him._ _Havea you seen a Koopa ina black dressa/_" He asked.

"Was he wearin glasses?" Said Peach excitedly.

"_Youa seen him?_" Said Mario surprised.

"Yes! I think hes over there!" Said Peach.

She pointed at the other end of the deck as the black koopa jumped over the railin.

"OH NO!" SHouted Peach and they ran over. Mario leaned over the rail and saw the perp take off in a speed boat.

"Phew." Said Peach relived. "I was worryed he would have drowned.

Mario was about to say some thing else when suddenly the ship started shakin as a explosion near the back of the ship blew out of the hull. Peach all most fell off but Mario grabbed her and pulled her back.

"Whats happenin Marioete!" Said Peach over every body screamin. But Mario didnt answear he had put a hand over his eyes and groaned beacuse he could guess.

"Bowsera." He lowly.

AN: Damn! I leave Bowser alone so I can mess with Mario and the fucker blows up the SHIP!? How the hell did he do that? (AN: I'm just pretendin cuz I all ready know and its fuckin sweet) guess we just have to find out in the next chapter!

REVIEW OR GET SHELL POPPED!


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